He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
