I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize