Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize