Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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