i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
