my vag is so smooth its legendary
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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