There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
