U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She even gives head with a lisp.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
