have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
