all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im holly from the hills drunk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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