the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
