She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
