I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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