So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
