Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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