I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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