Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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