Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
