I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
