census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize