I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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