I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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