just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
