I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
