I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
