Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
