guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
