She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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