it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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