i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
