It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
