She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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