if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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