we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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