I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
