You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize