oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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