did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
