Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
