I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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