dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
