Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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