Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
