He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
