It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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