i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
