first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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