You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
