He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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