you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
