dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
