Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
