PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
