I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
