this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
