Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize