the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
