Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
