My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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