i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're earring is so big in my mouth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
