i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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