you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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