he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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